i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he was CRYING into my vagina
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
