bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
