Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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