She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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