Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
