a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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