maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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