I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Randomize
