i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
