69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize