The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
