is your mom at the bar?
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
