I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
