We won't sleep together?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
