Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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