This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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