I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I checked into jail on foursquare
it glows. i had to have it.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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