I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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