I only kidnapped one of them. chill
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
