If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
