She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
