i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
