So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
