That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
