Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
