Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
