He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
