bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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