My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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