Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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