escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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