They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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