I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I got inside last night via doggy door
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
