he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
