Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
