Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
