Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize