about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
