Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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