So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
