the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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