I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
