Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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