he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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