whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
