Moan for me like Helen Keller
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
