sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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