I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
