You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
