I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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