we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
