Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
